A celebration will soon begin. Beaner is getting married next weekend!! I smile and laugh at this news. I’m starting early as the news has added a quickening to my step and put a smile on my face. Six long years cajoling Beaner about his settled down ease and here’s the day.
He and his woman, Beth, have been together for about six years. I often tease Bean that Beth is a fucking saint for sticking with him (he is quite a handful), yet, as he said in mild jest last night “think of what i have to put up with…hell, half my personality is a defense mechanism.” Truth be told, this is a tried and true love affair with all the (extra)ordinary experiences that face today’s coupledom.
It’s not some big earth shattering news. But in our country where so many fail at successful relationships and marriages, news of two old friends getting married is news to cheer and celebrate. They don’t have an engagement story. He didn’t do something over the top romantic to ask her. The over the top engagement “story” and the wedding day event are (for some couples) THE story. Not for this couple. They have a life together, they own a home, they are living their lives together. It’s a case of committment that spans the last six years.
They are getting hitched in their livingroom. It will be a simple affair with only their parents present. Beaner claims he’s going to wear an obnoxious outfit consisting of wrangler jeans and a red country western style shirt…and a handbar mustache if he can get it grown out enough by then. This may very well be the case and considering some of his past outfits worn at friends’ weddings, this could be considered an improvement. Though, my favorite will always be the polyester tiled shirt with the images of past playboy covers on them which he wore for our friend Johnny’s wedding (which was a formal attire afffair). Yes, Beth may well be up for sainthood. They almost eloped in December, but Beaner couldn’t find a judge to marry them due to everyone being away for the Holidays. That’s funny to me. Eric needed a judge (and not a lawyer) and couldn’t locate one. Ha! A bash this spring will be planned at the brewery and the rest of us will celebrate with the couple then.
Love is earth shattering, lustful, wild and messy and all the things that make our hearts race when we’re tumbling towards it. However, marriage and committment is more than that. It is that (never underestimate the power of those things above) but it is also the daily grind and support that is provided by the two that make the coupledom. It is not necessarily equitable and it is work. And so, to me, it is extremely powerful when two folks own up and recognize this and make the whole hearted choice to stay for the long haul.
It’s rare and it is beautiful.
To my friends, I throw my arms up in a twirling laughing dance under sunny (but chilly) California skies. The blue blue sky seems to stretch as far as the eye can see, perhaps all the way back to Ohio. I celebrate you. I send my love to you today and every day….